


A Todd in Dirk's Clothing

by Cordetta



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Adventure, Blackwing has Todd, Gen, Mystery, plus some others who wanted to come along for the ride
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:51:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cordetta/pseuds/Cordetta
Summary: Dirk wakes up one morning, puts on Dirk's clothes and goes to make Dirk's tea. Farah and Amanda visit one morning to see Todd wearing Dirk's clothes, making Dirk's tea, and absolutely no sign of Dirk.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk wakes up to a strange face in a familiar place, or is it a familiar face in a strange place?

Dirk woke to an empty bed. The sense of impending dread that had plagued him the night before had vanished completely with the morning and he was grateful. Black Wing had no use for Todd after all, and it had been sheer paranoia that had driven him into Todd’s bed the night before. Nothing more. Dirk smiled broadly as he opened the curtains. The sun was shining, the day was warm and his friends were coming to visit. Even better, the universe was staying quiet and it was almost like he was getting a proper holiday.

“Morning Todd! Fine day today, Farah and Amanda will be here soon and do you think we could try that diner we walked past the other day, I’m sure the other two won’t mind, or I could cook something, do you think they’d like omelettes?”

Pulling his head out of the fridge, Dirk looked over at the ripped up couch where Todd normally brooded over his morning coffee. “Todd?”

The shorter man wasn’t there. It had been a long time since Dirk had truly had a constant in his life, but usually people didn’t leave until after they had got him out of the house. He looked back around the kitchenette and saw the milk had been spilled on the bench, leaving behind a cooled black coffee and a white puddle dripping on the floor.

“Ah,” said Dirk to himself. “Well there’s no use crying over spilt milk.”

He chuckled to himself as he pulled up the sleeves of blue jacket to wipe up the mess.

His ears pricked up as the door creaked open. “Todd!” he exclaimed leaping up from the floor.

A searing pain shot through the back of his head as he smacked into the drawer still open above him.

“Oww,” he whined. “Hi Amanda,” he added as she loomed over him.

“You alright Todd?” asked Amanda.

“Fine, fine,” replied Dirk. “I’m not Todd by the way.”

Amanda gave him a strange look, and glanced back at the door.

“Farah,” she called. “I think Todd needs help.”

Farah walked in, hand already on her gun. “What happened?” she asked, reaching towards Dirk to help him into a chair. “Why is he wearing Dirk’s clothes?”

“He hit his head as I came in,” said Amanda, looking over Dirk’s head at Farah. “He says he’s not Todd.”

“I’m _not_ Todd,” said Dirk crossly. “Why would I be Todd when I’m very clearly me?”

Farah prodded the lump on the back of his head. “Who is me, exactly?” she asked calmly.

“Who is - oh now you’re both being silly - it’s _me_ , Dirk Gently, who else?”

Amanda clapped her hand over her mouth. Dirk heard her make an oddly distressed noise as she did so, and was pleased that she was reacting in an appropriate manner in light of her mistake. Of course, it was equally likely that it had been a giggle, but Dirk wasn’t one to dwell on his assumptions.

“You’re Dirk?” said Farah. “You, the man in front of us are Dirk Gently? The Dirk Gently with no sense of self preservation, you, that’s you?” She paused, staring into Dirk’s beaming face and then sighed. “Of course it’s you. What have you done this time? Where’s Todd?”

“Well that explains the jacket,” said Amanda smirking. “Mind if we take a selfie?”

“Amanda,” snapped Farah. “This is serious.”

“Oh, Todd just went to pick up some more milk,” said Dirk happily, before bounding over to Amanda.

“So you’ve… seen him?” said Farah cautiously.

“Oh no,” said Dirk. “He wasn’t in bed when I got up and then he wasn’t out here.”

“Oh man, when did you guys start sleeping together?” said Amanda with a grin.

“We aren’t, long story, but the milk was spilt though, I’ve cleaned it up and Todd will be back any minute.” explained Dirk. He threw up a peace sign and looked towards the camera. “Smile, Amanda!!”

Amanda flipped the camera around and snapped her picture just in time for Dirk to catch sight of Todd’s unnaturally smiley face beaming down at him, in Dirk’s jacket and two fingers poised proudly.

“WHAT?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Todd woke for the second time that day. Possibly not the same day. His bed was a stone floor and instead of the low hum of traffic in the distance, Todd could hear the slow, consistent dripping of condensation that formed only deep underground in caves.

“Hello?” he called, voice shaking and higher than he expected. “Is anyone there?” he called again. His voice was stronger this time, but just as high. Todd could feel a sense of dread pitted deep in his stomach as the cold silence echoed his words back to him. Something inside him whispered urgently, a jumble of noises he couldn’t decipher. He crawled cautiously forwards, arm outstretched in front of him. The whispering grew more insistent but no less decipherable as tentative fingers made contact with rough metal.

“What the fuck,” whispered Todd, as his exploration revealed that more than simple metal in front of him, he was touching bars that prevented his escape.

A loud clanging rang out in front of him without warning. Startled, Todd scrambled backwards to find himself pressed up against another set of bars. The clanging began to echo around him until it appeared to be coming from all directions. As Todd tried to escape the noise, he found he was surrounded by bars. _A cage_ , he thought in horror. The clanging continued, now accompanied by a deep groaning laugh.

“Stop it,” he called, not expecting a response. “Please, whatever you want, just tell me, let me out of here.”

The laugh died with a gasp and there was silence again.

“We have what we want,” a new voice rang out with a sing song voice. “Blackwing has who it wants and will reward us, Dirk Gently.”

Todd was still, his mind working at lightning speed. “I’m not..” he began before cutting himself off as the internal, the infernal, commentary that had refused to stop since he first awoke refused to let him speak further. Then he could see, a dim image from a creature who could see in the dark floating in his mind’s eye. Bars stretching upwards, entwined to form a cage surrounding his prey, a human body. Dirk’s body. _But that’s me_ , thought Todd in horror. _I’m Dirk, I’m in Dirk’s body._ As though this were the realisation it were waiting for, the uneasy whispering left him leaving only the terror and confusion that had already been a part of him.

“Will you take me to Blackwing then?” he asked.

“Blackwing will take you when they have use for you.” snarled a gravelly voice in his ear. “And the they will reward you too.”

The laughter began once more and the creatures hiding in the shadows began to yell gleefully and bang against the bars again.

Todd curled in on himself and waited, wishing for quiet, wishing for warmth, wishing for his friends, and wishing most of all to wake for a third time back in his own home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to accompanying art by [varlovian](http://varlovian.tumblr.com/post/160862267655/dghda-beginner-bang-a-todd-in-dirks-clothing)
> 
>  
> 
> Created for the DGHDA Beginner Bang celebration and collection! So excited to finally share this!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where is Todd anyway? The daring trio try to figure out just what is going on, while Todd discovers exactly how much danger he's really in.

“So you’re Todd now,” said Amanda. Dirk pulled a face and shrugged helplessly.

“I didn’t do anything,” he said. “This just happened, the universe must want me here for some reason.”

“And where does the universe want Todd?” asked Farah. “We still haven’t seen him after all, shouldn’t you be asking it some questions?”

“The universe isn’t a  _ thing _ Farah,” said Dirk. “It’s everything! And didn’t I say it never helps me? And I’m not psychic!”

“No one said you were psychic,” interjected Farah, but Dirk took no notice as he began to pace the room.

“I should know where he is,” muttered Dirk. His hands moved wildly, trying to shape his thoughts into order in front of him. Farah watched him uneasily and Amanda pulled herself up onto the kitchen bench, phone in hand. 

“Left here… no hunch… but of course … why not now…” Dirk stopped in his tracks and looked at the two women. “That’s it, we have no consequences.”

Farah looked over at Amanda with an exasperated expression in tow, but Amanda paid her no attention.

“We always have consequences Dirk,” said Farah finally. “W-we just do, people do things in this world, and for better or worse they have consequences.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Dirk, bounding over to her. “ I have universal consequences all the time and I’m telling you right now there will be exactly zero consequences regardless of my actions. It’s true freedom don’t you see?!” 

“But,” Farah began, before holding her hands up and scrunching her eyes closed. “Wait, what do you mean  _ you _ have zero consequences. What about the universe dragging you to America? Didn’t that mean something?”

“It did,” said Dirk. He shrugged. “And now it doesn’t. All I know is that for the first time ever, I can do whatever I like. At the very least I should know whether or not the universe wants me to go looking for Todd but it appears that I have no hunches at all. We’re on our own.”

“So you’re telling me that you are Todd, Todd is missing, the universe has abandoned you for no damn reason, and you’re happy about this?” Farah threw her hands up. “How exactly are we meant to be optimistic about this?”

“Well, he may not be missing as such,” said Dirk. “Although it is strange that I’m no longer aware of his presence, I’ve been feeling that since we got back from the time loop, but no that sums it up, I have no clue where we are going to begin. Isn’t that brilliant?”

“Well, just because you don’t know where your psychic body has got to, doesn’t mean we have no clues.” said Amanda, leaping down from her perch on the bench. “He took his cell with him, it’s a couple of blocks away at that market.”

“You see Farah,” exclaimed Dirk. “Optimism will take us straight to Todd!”

Farah watched the pair bound out of the apartment, the door singing wildly. “I don’t suppose either of you has a key,” she called after them half-heartedly. “Or will we just, oh never mind.”

 

* * *

 

A dull ache on the back of his head woke Todd from his dozing. It matched the discomfort in his hip which had been digging into the cold rocky ground. He had been moved at some point, the air was drier and his prison no longer a cage in the dark. In fact, he could spy two beds to his right, or perhaps just the one. He blinked furiously, trying to escape the dizziness that made him see black spots behind his eyes, accompanied by a distinct feeling of nausea.

There was a door without a handle to his left and Todd stretched out his arm towards it. Hooking his fingers in the gap above the floor, he pulled as best he could without throwing up over his new prison. The blow to his head - Todd could only reason it had been a whopper if he couldn’t remember it - throbbed and seemed to sap all his strength. Todd dropped his arm, panting. He realised he could hear movements outside the door, indistinct voices and a crunching sound that he couldn’t place. They were getting louder.

The door opened with a loud bang and Todd hissed as it scraped over his knuckles leaving them raw. 

“Icarus is awake,” barked a voice. “Get him up.”

Rough hands hauled him to his feet. Todd grasped at thin air, trying to steady himself as the pain rushed through his skull. He could see a greyed out face above him, sharply angled chin connected to eyes that glimmered and cruelly twisted lips.  _  Good band name that _ , thought Todd.  _ Amanda might even like it _ .

“Icarus, it’s time to reintroduce you to an old friend.” The voice was cool and calm, and chilled Todd to his core. The indignant righteousness seeped from his mind, replaced by a blank canvas for another artist. He did not protest the way they clawed at his body, dragged him like a puppet to another windowless room to be dumped as though he were the main act of a seaman’s burial.

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s over here,” called Amanda, spying the small black phone under the trays of fruit. 

Dirk bent down to peer under the tray with her. “Todd’s not here,” he informed Farah. He grabbed a banana from the display as he straightened and began to eat it.

Farah ignored him and looked over the phone carefully. “He must have dropped it, look at those cracks, they’re new. But why wouldn’t he pick it up again?”

Amanda shrugged. “Maybe his hobbit arms couldn’t reach it”

“Your hobbit arms could reach it,” Dirk helpfully pointed out. “Besides that looks like his shoe over there.”

Farah and Amanda spun around to look at where Dirk was gesturing with the banana, where there was a bright red sneaker sitting in the gutter.

“Could he have been taken?” asked Amanda. “Are we going to have to rescue him, please somebody tell me we’re going to have to rescue him, he’ll never live it down.”

Farah opened her mouth, intent on reminding Amanda that if Todd had been abducted, she could probably stand to be less cheery about the situation. Instead, she was cut off by an angry yell.

“THIEF,” roared a voice from inside the grocer. “PAY UP AND CLEAR OUT OR I’LL CALL THE COPS.”

Dirk hid himself behind Farah, waving the banana over her shoulder. Distantly, he could hear her hurried explanations and offers of payment but the angry voices seemed to swell until he was unable to drag his focus back to his present situation. 

“The card, what’s on the card?” yelled a voice. Dirk flinched backwards. Todd yanked his hands back from the desk. Dirk found they were trapped in handcuffs. Todd spoke and Dirk could hear his own voice from his lips. 

“I’ve told you, I’m not psychic.” Dirk mouthed the words with Todd, their familiarity as biting now as ever before. Todd knew what Dirk had meant. He wasn’t psychic, of course he wasn’t but he could  _ smell _ the banana drawn on the card as clear as day. He could feel the pressure of the world - the universe - begging him to submit. Dirk would never forgive him if he did.

A sharp crack echoed around the room, causing Todd to reel back. He rubbed his cheek where it stung and glared up at the man standing over him, spittle flying across his teeth. 

“Fruit,” he said tiredly. “It’s a fruit. Let me go.”

The man curled his lip high, showing his teeth in misguided smile.

“Now that’s better. Co-operate Icarus, and you may leave. It’s not like anyone’s looking for you, no one cares that…”

“....Blackwing has me,” burst Dirk. “I mean Todd. Todd-in-me.”

Farah raised an eyebrow and drew the shopkeeper away, waving her credit card as she went. Amanda turned immediately to Dirk and grabbed his shoulders. 

“Todd’s been taken?”

“Yes,” said Dirk hurriedly, eyes darting around the room. “We need more clues, a lead, or just something.” He wrenched his arms away from Amanda. “What about this?” he asked, gesturing desperately at the sign behind them, advertising $1.99/lb of apples.

Amanda’s eyes widened. “Not that,” she said, “but just above it!”

“A camera,” breathed Dirk. “Can you hack it?”

“No,” replied Farah, walking back over. She frowned at the piece of equipment. “Let me see what I can do,” she said, pulling out her phone. “I have to make some calls.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old friends lend a hand as Farah, Amanda and Dirk try to discover more about Todd's abduction.

Todd was exhausted. He had been dragged into small windowless room after small windowless room, to be yelled at by a man in a moustache, and then another man in a moustache, and then another. The faces began to blur together and he found that the seeping dread that had persuaded him earlier remained stubbornly silent. He wanted to kick the, the  _ feeling _ of whatever it was and dig it out of him. It wasn’t a part of him and he was not a part of it. Todd Brotzmann was not psychic.

 

* * *

 

 

A lull fell over the park as they entered. Children seemed to melt away leaving the playground deserted, a brightly coloured ruin again a red sky. A teenager playing basketball checked his phone and left. Amanda raced to a swing and waited for Farah to explain her hushed conversation on the phone.

“You called?” asked a voice to their right. “What do you need?”

Farah wordlessly held out a piece of paper.

“GPS coordinates, camera type?” Ken asked stepping forward. 

Dirk looked around uneasily, spotting his scruffy companion sitting cross legged under the slide. She gave him a toothy grin and waved the knife she was sharpening at him in greeting. Dirk shuddered and looked away as he noted the flash of light from the blade interrupted by a rusty red that he knew must be blood.

“Must she be here?” he whispered loudly. Bart scowled.

Ken ignored them both and pulled his laptop from his backpack, quickly setting to work.

“Got it,” he said after a few short minutes. “Your friend’s been taken by a black van, they were heading east.”

A stunned silence greeted his words. 

“It’s not like the camera was encrypted,” he said with a shrug when it became clear no one was going to say anything. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. “I could probably track where the van was going by tapping into the traffic cams?”

“Do it,” said Farah, her jaw set in a hard line. “And email me a shot of the van. We’ll see if Estevez can run us some plates”

Ken nodded and hunched over his laptop once more. Dirk could hear the faint melodies of N’SYNC drifting from his headphones. He also noted with some unease that the assassin had put away her knife and was now throwing rocks at the trees that lined the park, a sharp  _ thwack _ reverberating around the area as they were embedded in the trunks.

“The van’s been abandoned. It’s at Yellowstone,” said Ken. 

Amanda’s jaw dropped. “As in the National Park? How’d it get out there? And how’d you find that out? It’s not like there are cameras the whole way.”

Ken shrugged. “He was taken early this morning, it’s sunset now,” he pointed out. “They had the time.”

“Estevez says the van’s not been reported stolen,” said Farah. “Could be military.”

“It’s Blackwing,” muttered Dirk. His arms were crossed in front of him and he avoided Amanda’s curious stare. “Who else would ever want me?”

“Let’s go check it out,” said Amanda, after a moment. She didn’t know how to respond to that, wasn’t sure if Dirk had heard what he had just said. “If they’ve gone off on foot we might be able to spot a trail.”

“Or they could just as easily switched vehicles,” said Farah in frustration. 

“Well we won’t know unless we look right?” said Amanda, reaching over to Farah. “I’ll call Martin, the 3 can meet us there. Maybe they’ll pick up on some psychic trail.”

Farah let out a controlled breath and Amanda waited, her hand still on Farah’s arm. 

“Let’s get going,” she said finally with a terse nod. “Ken, Bart, thanks for being here.”

“Anytime,” said Ken with an easy grin. Bart stood. “Are we done wasting time now?” she demanded, glaring over her shoulder and pulling Ken close. 

“We’re off,” he said in easy agreement. Bart threw a final rock at the tree, one of it’s branches collapsing. There was a yelp and then silence. 

“Go,” muttered Dirk, eyes wide. He didn’t want to be nearby if there was going to be a body count. “Get in the car, lets just..”

“Bye,” called Amanda, waving over her shoulder at the pair.

 

* * *

 

It was eerie, Amanda decided, watching her older brother fidget as they drove to the abandoned van. She’d never realised just how much Dirk was moving all the time, on him it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. On Todd, it looked wrong, like he kept being shocked by a loose wire in his head.

She chose to stare intently out the window so as not to look at him. It had been funny at first, but now she was worried about her brother, worried at the way Dirk had clammed up at the mention of Blackwing, and terrified that she was wrong, that there would be no trail. That they would never find Todd.

In the distance, she could see a dark outline moving towards them. 

“Pull over,” she called to Farah, who looked at her with a raised eyebrow. 

“We’ve got to get to…”

“I know, just do it,” she snapped.

When the car rolled to a stop, she let out a shaky breath.

“Sorry,” she said. By now she could hear the raucous music beginning to drown out the sounds around them. Several birds took to the air with a squawk of indignation as a graffitied black van pulled up alongside them. 

With the engine still running, the Rowdy 3 burst from the van, all doors slamming open in perfect coordination. Amanda rolled down her window with a grin and leaned out of the car. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Dirk flinching backwards with every loud bang they made on the car door.

“Morning boys,” she called cheerily. She felt at ease for the first time since they’d discovered Todd’s abduction yesterday morning. It had been a long night of driving and they weren’t far from the van that had taken him.

Martin tapped on her door. She climbed out without hesitation and was hauled up to sit on the roof with Gripps. He slung his arm over her shoulder as Martin kept talking.

“He’s south,” he told her gruffly. “May not be him anymore, may be your brother in there, but there’s enough energy that we can track him.”

Amanda nodded relieved. 

“Why would they take him there first?” asked Farah, who had climbed out of the car.

Martin shrugged but it was Vogle who answered her. “Fear maybe? They like fear.”

“It may have just been a safe place for the night,” said Martin. “You can check it out if you want, but he’s definitely south.”

Farah nodded. “We’ll meet you there,” she said. “Maybe we can find out what we’re dealing with.”

“You’re dealing with Blackwing,” Martin responded shortly. He held out an arm to Amanda, who grabbed it as she leapt down. “You coming?”

Amanda looked at Farah, then at her brother’s face smiling with wide hopeful eyes. 

“Absolutely,” she said. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Farah and Dirk have found the van and search for clues, while Amanda and the Rowdy 3 travel south. Little do they know a surprise is waiting for them in the hours ahead.

Farah and Dirk found the abandoned van in a ditch a little after noon. The side door had been left wide open and Farah could clearly see the trail of broken branches that led into the forest.

“They're not exactly trying to hide, are they?” she commented as she peered gingerly inside the van. “No blood,” she said. “Todd doesn't seem too badly injured.”

“Yet,” muttered Dirk. He remembered well how quickly Blackwing submitted to violence when he was unable to provide them with answers. Banishing the thought, Dirk looked hard at the haphazard trail that led from the van. 

“Todd didn't look like he was in a forest,” he said doubtfully. 

Farah looked at Dirk with pursed lips, intent on commenting on Dirk’s uncharacteristic melancholy. She had noticed his manner changing the longer he stayed in Todd’s body, as though the longer he was joined to Todd, the more the lines between Dirk and Todd were blurred. She wasn't entirely convinced it was a good thing.

“Let's check it out,” she said instead. “Maybe there's a building hidden in there.”

Dirk nodded and started off into the forest in silence. Farah shook her head. Silence was definitely unusual.

Despite being unmarked, the trail was easy to follow. Farah took photos of every landmark as the walked deeper into the forest, and left markings anyway. It had been 48 hours since Todd had been taken but she was still worried they would be caught unawares by attackers, or perhaps become lost, waiting for the slow death of exposure to claim them.

Her fears were unfounded, as Dirk paused and looked across at a gaping slash in a cliff in front of them. His expression was uneasy and Farah could hear the slightest shake in his voice as he told her this was the cave Todd must be in.

Farah handed him a  flashlight and strode on ahead.

The warmth from the sun seemed to bleed away as they moved into the mountain, to a place the sun had never reached before and never would. The chill in the air settled on them as they picked their way across the rocky floor, avoiding the pools of water that rippled with their every movement.

Without the sun to indicate the passage of time, Farah was resorting to checking her phone -  _ precious battery wastage _ , she thought - to monitor when they would need to return to leave the forest by sundown. After the fifth time she had checked the time indicated a mere half hour had passed, she had to admit it was a lost cause. 

She tensed as she heard a scuttling noise in the distance, reaching back to grasp Dirk’s wrist. He shook her off with a huff of annoyance.

They rounded the corner, beams illuminating the grey rock, the pooled reflections, irons bars and,  _ wait _ . Farah’s brain caught up with her eyes and she only half heartedly lifted her hand to prevent Dirk from racing to the cage tucked in a corner of the room.

“Todd,” he called, an awful, hopeful desperation tinging his words. But he had already seen there was nothing inside and fell to his knees. Farah walked to stand next to him, her hand on his shoulder in a form of hollow comfort. She knew it couldn’t mean much when he was so bitterly disappointed.

“Taken,” shrieked a voice out of the darkness. Dirk scrambled to his feet and shone the light around the cavern.

“Show yourself,” he called angrily. The light suddenly fell on a grinning man with three faces and pointed teeth.

“He’s been taken,” shouted the hapless creature again. He shrunk away from the light and hissed as Dirk tried to get closer. “He was so easy to scare and his mind kept leaking out at the edges.” Farah almost felt sorry for him as his breath hitched in a sob. “Like yours,” he shrieked diving suddenly at Dirk who lunged backwards to avoid the wild blows.

_ Never mind then _ , thought Farah. Dirk pulled her back with shaky hands. She couldn’t tell if the gesture was protective or horrified. Her gun was in her hands and she held it up in warning.

“And they took him away,” the creature gasped, lying at their feet. “All that fear and confusion and wrongness and they took him away.”

“Where. Is. He?” she asked with gritted teeth.

“They have him,” babbled the creature. “The black-winged monster took him from me, will they give him back to me?”

Farah froze. She could hear Dirk breathing harshly next to her, uneven and terrified. “Blackwing has him?” she asked. “Where?”

“The desert road,” he cried. “That’s where they take all my toys. They took him there before too.” The creature lifted a hand to point at Dirk and he stumbled backwards, Todd’s wide eyes unseeing in his terror.

“Todd?” asked Farah, ignoring the whimper that has escaped Dirk. “They took Todd there?”

“ICARUS,” screamed the creature, lunging for her. Farah swore as she pulled the gun in her hands up to defend herself even as she stumbled backwards. Dirk had his arms around her dragging her towards the entrance, towards the light, she realised suddenly.

They ran without speaking and continued to run as the grey rock turned into the greens of the forest. They were back at the car before 

Farah slowed herself and dared to glance back. The sunlight shone through the trees, a sure deterrent that would keep them safe provided they were gone before night fell in a few hours.

“We better keep moving,” she said. “Desert road, do you think he meant south?”

Dirk wheezed in response, hand gripping the car door so tightly Farah could see his knuckles straining white against his skin.

“Dirk?” asked Farah stepping forwards with a slight frown.

Dirk ignored her. The call reverberated in his head,  _ they took him there too _ . He had been recognised despite his unintended disguise and now they knew. Blackwing had taken Todd there, to the facility he had been taken as a child.

His breath caught in his lungs, images of moustaches and the sound of a small boy sobbing in the cold floating in his head. He couldn’t remember this, he wouldn’t. But they had Todd.

Dirk gasped and his eyes flew open as his muscles spasmed violently. He noted with horror electricity coursing over his body and wondered dimly how that had happened. The smell of burnt flesh made him want to retch as the spasms began again, accompanied by a dull ache that pinned his joints to the ground as he fell forward.

Farah raced to his side, unsure whether to touch him. She could see Dirk was fighting his muscles to try open his mouth, or reach out his arms, but he was shaking on the ground and his body seemed to no longer be under his own control. Her heart froze as she considered the implications of Blackwing, or one of their projects, being able to control Dirk’s actions. Would they try to control her?

Dirk struggled against his body, desperately trying to tell Farah what was happening, not that he knew where to begin explaining it. His thoughts were becoming muddled as each jolt of pain interrupted his thoughts anew and they were being accompanied by images of brick walls, concrete floors, a rough shaking of his body and the sharp prick of a needle. Farah’s face morphed into the disapproving blank stare that haunted his nightmares just as the dizzying pain flared and the forest faded to black.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Todd have snapped back to their regular bodies, but with Dirk still trapped at Blackwing, will the gang reunite?
> 
> SPOILERS: (of course they will it's a fic and i'm a sucker for happy endings)

Todd groaned as he woke up and tried to stretch. There was some sort of strap holding him in place and so he tried to keep his breathing even. He didn’t want to picture what new “training” Blackwing had in store for him. Although someone had been kind enough to switch the rock he had been sleeping on for a much softer headrest. It was much warmer too, he could feel his body swaying from side to side. 

He was being moved again, he concluded. Perhaps it’d be to a facility with officers who shouted less - it would make his aching head hurt that much less. Except, his head wasn’t aching anymore. The dull pain and confusion that had left him dazed throughout the ordeal thus far seemed to have vanished overnight. And that surge of electricity that had him howling on the floor as a cold faced general watched didn’t appear to have left any lingering effects. It was almost like one of his pararibulitis attacks. He would have to ask Amanda if hallucinations had ever lasted days at a time, if she’d ever spoken to him while simultaneously trying to ignore her own hell.

“It’s going to be alright Dirk.” A voice floated in his subconscious. Todd frowned. No one at Blackwing had called him Dirk. They hadn’t called him Todd either, but Dirk was equally unusual in his limited experience.

“I’m sorry Dirk,” said the voice again. “I should have been watching out for you, we should have left as soon as we found that place.”

Todd realised that the voice belonged to a person and that person had a name.

“‘S’not your fault Farah,” he slurred, blearily blinking as he alerted her to his change in condition. “You found me, didn’t you?”

Farah gasped and pulled the car she was driving to the side of the road.

“You’re awake,” she exclaimed. “Dirk, I’ve been worried sick, you just collapsed.”

Todd blinked again, trying to work out the name change. “How did I get here?” he asked.

“I dragged you into the car,” replied Farah. Her eyes were wide and her hand hovered above Todd’s forehead. “I stepped on the gas, figured we’d need a good head start going out to the desert.”

“Before that,” he said, trying to piece together the timeline. “And where’s Dirk anyhow? Is Amanda okay?”

Farah looked at a loss. “What do you mean where’s Dirk?” she asked. “You’re Dirk, you kept saying so.”

Todd shook his head. “I’m Todd,” he said firmly. He looked down and yelped at the bright blue that greeted his eye. “Why am I in Dirk’s clothes?”

“You switched back,” whispered Farah. “I can’t believe it we got you back.”

Todd’s heart stopped. 

“So Dirk must be there,” he said, closing his eyes again. “They’ve got him and we’ve got to go back.”

Farah looked at him helplessly. “Todd, we didn’t rescue you. We found that cave, Dirk and I, and we were running from these creatures and Dirk, he just collapsed. He was yelling a lot and then he blacked out. And now you’re back. You’re here.”

Todd huffed a sigh in response. His head lolled and he jerked himself upright. 

“Dirk’s still in there,” he said. “We’ve got to get him out.”

Farah nodded, then tossed her phone at him. 

“Call Amanda,” she said. “We were on our way to finding you, she left with the Rowdy 3 to track you down via psychic energy.”

“Why didn’t you go with them?” asked Todd.

“Dirk,” she said simply. “And I needed to see what damage we may be facing. Did you have injuries?”

“Yes,” said Todd. “There was blood on the back of my head when I woke up.”

“Were you confused? Feverish? Struggling to concentrate?” Farah fired questions at him and Todd did his best to answer them all. 

“An untreated concussion, that’s perfect,” muttered Farah. She paused and looked at him. “I’m glad you’re alright Todd,” she said quietly and Todd let out a bitter laugh. “Me too Farah, me too.”

There was silence as Todd turned his attention to the cell in his hand. 

“Farah?” came Amanda’s voice. “Is everything okay? We lost the trail for a bit but we’re back on track now.”

“It’s me,” said Todd.

“Todd?” asked Amanda. “How did you, oh wait sorry it’s Dirk, isn’t it?” She laughed uneasily and Todd wished he could be with her to tell her it was alright.

“No, no, it’s Todd,” he said. “I’m… back. I’m not sure what happened. I think Dirk had an attack and it somehow switched us back again.”

“An attack?” asked Amanda. “Like a pararibulitis attack or a panic attack?”

Todd shrugged. “Not sure. I wasn’t there. Maybe both.”

“Shit,” breathed Amanda.

“We’re on our way to you now,” said Todd.

Amanda said nothing but Todd knew from experience that she was nodding.

“ETA 2 hours,” said Amanda. “We’ll wait another three, but after that, we’re getting him out with or without you.”

“Don’t leave him in there longer than you have to. Don’t wait for us if you see an opportunity.”

“We won’t,” growled Cross in the background. “We’re getting hungry and they won’t be able to keep him from us for long.”

“Thanks,” said Todd uncertainly. He wasn’t sure that Dirk would prefer their treatment to Blackwing’s, but at least it wouldn’t be prolonged.

“We’ll see you soon,” said Amanda. “Amanda out.”

Todd stared at the phone in his hand. 

“They’ll get him out,” he told Farah. “They’re not going to wait for us.”

“Good,” said Farah. “Let’s get ready for him. By all accounts he’s gonna be in a bad way.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dirk woke to a rush of dizzying pain. He hated the way he recognised his prison without opening his eyes. He was back in his own body, a meagre blanket wrapped around his shoulders, a distant clanging made itself known from a few cells over. He supposed the universe wasn’t about to let Todd run around as his pilot forever, but if he’d only had a few more hours.

_ No _ , he told himself sternly.  _ You’re being selfish. If you’re here then Todd is there and that’s all that matters _ .

Dirk opened his eyes and spotted a carving in the wall. A shaky sun, complete with a childish smiling face stared at him. They’d given him his old room back. Dirk carefully pulled himself up, cataloguing each of Todd’s injuries. They were his now, a gift the universe had left for Dirk for escaping its grasp for a while. 

He grimaced and scrabbled at one of the bricks in the wall. It slid out of it’s place leaving a gap, a small connection to the outside world, just as easily as it did when he was a child. The sun was low in the sky, but Dirk suspected it was still the same day. He knew from experience that if he had been out longer than twelve hours, he would not have been left to wake up alone.

He knew the Rowdy 3 would be watching, waiting for their moment nearby. Farah and Todd would presumably have caught up to their position now. He merely had to wait and hope they made their move soon.

A loud bang resounded in the block of cells as the door at the end of the corridor slammed open. Dirk hurriedly replaced the brick and wrapped the blanket over his shoulder. His eyes remained open, bright and watchful as a guard stopped outside his door.

“Icarus,” she barked. “Get up. The Director wants to see you.”

Dirk stayed where he was in stunned silence. The Director had never once asked to see him before. What had Todd done?

The guard reached irritably inside her pocket for the keys. In one swift movement she had the door open and had pulled Dirk roughly to his feet. 

“Get moving,” she said with a slight sneer. Her hair was tucked under her cap which was pulled low over hers eyes. “And no funny business. You’re one of  _ them _ , I’ve been told.”

DIrk hunched in on himself as he began to walk. The floor was cold against his bare feet and his body was too exhausted to fight back against her now. Dirk was falling into his old grey existence and he was terrified that this time he’d never leave it behind him.

They walked the familiar corridors without incident and the guard stopped him in front of a door that in all his childhood, Dirk had never been able to unlock or persuade his entry.

The guard was talking into her walkie talkie. “Yeah, no, I got him. Now open this damn door and get us out of here.”

To Dirk’s astonishment, the door opened wide. He heard a sudden shout behind him and the guard swore.

“Do you trust me?” she asked desperately. “We’ve got to go now but you’ve gotta trust me on this.”

Dirk looked down at her. He was still confused by what was happening, at the pitch black that awaited him on the other side of the door, the universe screaming at him to go back.

When did I ever listen to what the universe had to say, Dirk asked himself.

“Lead the way,” he told her, and she grabbed his hand and leapt from the doorway’s edge.

Dirk screamed, but so did the guard next to him so he decided not to feel embarrassed about it. There was no light but the small hand in his was a comfort. 

His next thought was cut off as he slammed into water he hadn’t known was coming. It slowed his descent but he was still sinking, sinking farther than he knew and with no time to breathe prior to his entry, Dirk was starting to panic.

_ The universe is going to let me drown _ , he thought and he began to kick desperately for the surface. He had lost the guard’s hand and he hoped she was okay.  _ This is it, I’ve chosen my pathway too many times, I shouldn’t have gotten used to zero consequences _ . It kicked again and again, forging his bitterness into determination, swapping the burning in his lungs for desperation as he fought. And finally -  _ finally _ \- his head broke the surface with a gasp. A light shone down on him and he felt himself hauled out of the water.

“Dirk,” called a familiar voice, and he looked up to see Todd and Farah just as they pulled him in for a hug, ignoring the cold discomfort of water seeping into their clothes. Todd pulled back and moved to check on the bedraggled guard and Farah offered him a towel with a smile. 

The guard looked over at him, her cap long gone and her hair falling out of it’s pin.

“Thank you Amanda,” whispered Dirk hoarsely.

“It was nothing,” she said with a smile. “What a rush, that jump at the end? I thought I was going to have to push you. And I had to walk past your cell three times before I finally caught you awake.”

Dirk forced a laugh past his chattering teeth and Todd look back at him.

“Move,” he said firmly, and Dirk allowed him to strip the soaked clothes from his body and wrap him securely in a blanket. 

“Are we getting out of here or what?” called Amanda.

Gripps tipped the captain’s hat he was wearing over his beanie and Dirk felt the boat begin to move. 

“Isn’t this place so cool?” said Amanda, bouncing on her seat with legs splayed out over Cross. “We spotted the cave as we drove into town but we never imagined what was sitting right on top of it until we found sound old topographical maps in Martin’s drawers.”

Dirk leaned his head back and smiled as Amanda continued to chatter on. He could feel Todd laughing as he listened to Amanda’s story, and Farah’s cool hands as she worked to dress the wound on the back of his head.

Despite the journey they had ahead of them, he couldn’t help but feel like he was already at home.

 

* * *

 

 

_**Epilogue** _

 

Todd woke to an odd snuffling noise in his ear and the restless movements of a body that couldn’t decide whether to curl into a ball or stretch out across the bed. The bed. Todd sat up in a hurry. This was _his_  bed and he slept alone.

“Dirk,” Todd said, pulling his face into a scowl. “What are you doing?”

The rustling stilled as the other occupant seemed to consider his answer.

“Sleeping.” said Dirk. “And also thinking.”

“What are you doing __in my bed__?” Todd tried so very hard to not get annoyed with Dirk, especially not now that he had apparently all but told Dirk he could move in when he had said they were friends, but this had gone too far.

Todd could hear the snuffling noise again as he waited for an answer.

“I __told__  you,” said Dirk. His voice was definitely higher than usual. Todd was about to question him further when the snuffle turned into a very obvious sniff.

“Are you crying?” asked Todd. He peered down at Dirk but the midnight shadows that stretched across the room covered any reflection tears might have made on his face.

“No! “ exclaimed Dirk. “Your bed is just… dusty!”

“Then get out of it,” growled Todd.

“No!”

Silence filled the space between the two men. Todd waited. He knew Dirk would not - could not - stay silent for long.

“Let me stay, please,” whispered Dirk. “I can’t be alone, don’t make me be alone.”

Todd sighed. Dirk had told him a little about his childhood to pass the time when they were digging up Webb’s machine. Although he had skirted the topic of what Blackwing had actually done to him, the last few days had probably brought back a few memories.

“Fine.” he said, laying back down. “But only for tonight and ONLY if you don’t touch me.”

Dirk immediately flung his arm around Todd’s shoulders. “Thank you, thank you, I’ll be asleep in a jiffy, not a moment and then you won’t even remember I’m here.”

Todd felt Dirk relax against him. His arm was still around Todd.

“Dirk?” The chirpy bastard was asleep already, thought Todd. “Dirk, get off!”

Dirk merely murmured happily and snuggled closer to Todd.

“Of course you talk in your sleep,” muttered Todd. “Good night Dirk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so excited to have finally finished and posted this! Comments are definitely appreciated but thank you for reading! The rest of this note is me explaining behind the scenes stuff for want of a better term ;D
> 
> A few points because I definitely skated over some things: 
> 
> 1\. Yeah Dirk got less cheery but I had this idea that Dirk and Todd were beginning to bleed naturally back to the right place before the pararibulitis attack forced it. 
> 
> 2\. How did this happen in the first place? Yeah that wasn't really relevant I just cared that they had swapped places just for the sake of it bc this fic started out as a traditional bodyswap fic.... but then it turned into a mystery/adventure story and I decided to run with it bc I was having fun. Originally it was due to exposure of the soul swapping machine mixed with temporal energy that caused a temporary switch ending with comedic value and swapping back to the right body with a kiss
> 
> 3\. The epilogue was meant to be the first scene in this comedy version as their longterm close proximity triggered the switch. But I went a different direction and REALLY loved that bit, and since I write for fun I can choose to ignore the "kill your darlings" rule as much as I want :D
> 
> 4\. Again thanks for reading!!


End file.
